


Why did it end up like this?

by SuzuyaJuuzou



Category: Amnesia (Game & Anime)
Genre: Angst, Bad End 2, F/M, Guilt, M/M, Multi, POV Second Person, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-13 00:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5687287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzuyaJuuzou/pseuds/SuzuyaJuuzou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All he wanted was to protect you, help you feel safe.. He never intended for.. this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why did it end up like this?

Why, why, why, why, why...

All he wanted was to protect you, help you feel safe.. He never intended for.. _this_. 

He sneaks a peak at your sleeping form, still kept sitting up somewhat by the chains attached to your body from the ceiling. The marks he's laid are red, obvious and swollen. He knows they'll turn to bruises eventually, like the others he's made before that, and he knows they hurt and will hurt even more. He cringes.

 _This wasn't what he wanted_ , is what he wants to say, but he can't bring himself to do that because even that's not a hundred percent untrue. He wanted you as his, and his only. Away from the world's cruel and predatory gaze, away from everyone who could potentially make you theirs, away from Shin whom he _knows_ would have eventually taken you if not for the fact you were already with someone else and away from Ikkyu, that boyfriend of yours that he's never liked - he couldn't even bring himself to _try_. Just the thought that that man has touched you makes his blood boil, not forgetting his huge fan club that _tried to kill you, for fuck's sake._

 _He had to do this_ , he reasons. He made a promise to keep you safe all those years ago and he's made it his life's purpose to keeping it, he can't just forget about it now, especially when it's so painfully obvious that everyone else can't be trusted... And yet, behind the doors of his own house, _he's_ the one that harms you out of his own will. _He's_ the one that makes you bleed, makes you cry - something he couldn't stand to see and still can't, especially when he knows he's the cause of it - he's the reason why you're so beaten, broken and battered. All for the sake of his sick delusions which he can't seem to control, it scares him to know that he does this to you every day just to relieve himself of the pressure from having a one-sided and unrequited love for all these years, just to have you for himself in some sick tormented way of showing his love to you and to try to beat sense into you.

He's scared that one day he'll kill you. 

He loves you, loves you so much, and loves you with _his life_ , it'd kill him to know that you died by his hands, his _disgusting_ , sick hands. _He's_ the one that should be chained up, away from you and away from humanity. He's disgusting, the worst of the worst, and he knows you'd never love him the way he loves you either. He knows, despite what people may say and what he himself may think at times, that this is not love, and this is not right... and yet he can't stop. He needs you like people need oxygen, like plants need the sun and like fishes need water. He's gone too far to be able to stop, too far to try to stop, he needs to go even further no matter how wrong it is because somehow, to him, it just feels _right_. 

It feels right for you to be in his arms even if this wasn't the way he wanted, it feels right for you to say his name even though it's in such a hoarse and painful voice, it feels right for you to be here even if it was by force and you had to be chained to his ceiling. He wants and needs you too much, too badly, for you to just walk out like it's nothing. He can't have that, he can't have you hate him, _he can't have you gone_.

He stands from the crouched position he took in front of you and begins to clean you up as best as he can. You won't forgive him, he knows. This process of getting you to look like a decent human being that isn't caged up nor abused is one which he uses to berate himself with and then dull the guilt, the hurt and the heart break with. It doesn't matter in the end, he supposes as he finishes and takes his position on the floor to sleep, he knows he's just going to repeat the whole thing again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after. 

_That's just the person he is._

**Author's Note:**

> Out of all the characters, Toma's is the one I'm most unsure about so far when it comes to writing.
> 
> I hope he's not OOC or I'll have to replay his bad end lmao. I got way too tired in the middle of writing this, I'm not sure if it's coherent anymore but ehh, I don't care. It's hard for me to explain stuff because I'm so bad at talking, so I hope people who read this at least get the sense of what I was trying to convey. If not then oh welp.


End file.
